-Be comfortable in whatever skin you’re given, even if you have to shed it like a snake
-Be able to make Ramen noodles. That’s all you need.
-Have hair, have no hair, make your hair look like cinnamon rolls. You do you.
-Wear the blood of your enemies on your face
-Be a cat
-Be Grace Hanson. Sorry, we all have to be Jane Fonda now.
-Does this just mean rub your hands on your body a lot? I imagine it comes down to having oils.
-Shave using a sharpened rock
-Be fashion forward, time to create your own look! I’m bringing back the acid wash.
-Wear pink, purple, orange, yellow, black, blue, white, green, blood orange, who cares, wear the rainbow.
-Love men, women, animals, children, the earth, stop global warming because climate change is real.
-Listen to your heart when it’s calling to you.
-Doesn’t like chocolate. Who doesn’t like chocolate? Even if you’re allergic, you probably still crave it.
-Is Proud of being a bitch, a lover, a child, a mother, a sinner or a saint.
-Overly fashionable, too many fashion scarves
-Bad relationship w/ father if it is a reverse Oedipus situation
-Can cook meth. No one needs that energy in their life, Walter White.
-Isn’t nurturing a small bird back to health. Big red flag there.
-Materialistic about bird boxes. Where are you going to keep all those?
-Doesn’t care about Pretty Woman. A classic!
-Not a feminist
-No feline friends, unless allergic then that’s okay
-Doesn’t like Jacob Tremblay. RED FLAG.
If you’re not that, it is okay we all have our good parts.
-Different rules for different players.
Please, do not be this guy. Don’t make lists that are terribly sexist, rude, beyond outdated, and horrid. This guy isn’t interested in real women in any way, shape, or form—he wants a blow-up talking doll (who talks softly and only when spoken to). Be better.
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