Feb 14, 2017

Just in time ... The devil's guide to Valentine's Day

I couldn't stop laughing.

"In his irreverent 1906 masterpiece, The Devil’s Dictionary, American writer Ambrose Bierce took aim at all manner of human hypocrisies, sins and shortcomings by penning a lexicon of cynical word definitions for a cynical age."

In the spirit of Bierce, Ozy takes a look on Valentine's Day.

Be Mine” n. Overly possessive courtship proposition that has become a holiday staple, presumably because neither “You Belong to Me” nor “I Shall Have You” would fit on a half-inch piece of heart candy.

flowers, n. Collection of a plant’s reproductive organs harvested and offered up to the female of the species by a male who has no feathers or ornamentation of his own with which to attract a suitable mate.

lingerie, n. Impractical undergarment modeled by Tens and sold by Eights to Threes hoping to make their Fours look like Sixes.

love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage. —Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

wedding, n. A funeral where you smell your own flowers. —Eddie Cantor

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